On Friday, a coworker asked me if I had any plans for my birthday over the weekend. It was just normal work chit-chat as we were passing in the bathroom, nothing more. Without much thought, I stated that I didn’t have any plans since I had my fill from the holidays. I think I caught him off guard a bit since he just said “Okay…” and walked away. How’s that for failing at small talk? Man, I suck at this.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy spending time with others or having a good time; I genuinely do. I think it’s just the amount of time that I do spend socializing is pretty low, especially for somebody my age. Maybe in the future it will change, but for now I’ve mostly been wrapped up in reading. That’s basically all I did today at least.

To me, ideas are intoxicating. I love learning about new perspectives that make me question what I think I know about the world. Each new book adds threads to my own network of interconnecting webs that branch off in unexpected directions and compose my understanding. It’s definitely not a solid bedrock of unwavering truth, but the uncertainty is invigorating in a sense. As long as the occasional vertigo doesn’t make me too sick I think I’ll stay on this path for a while.

Honestly, I know this might not be the best path for me, or even the right path if there is such a thing. Sometimes it feels like I’m just building castles on clouds in the sky and making myself increasingly more socially awkward in the process. Whatever the case, I currently believe that the views we hold about the world, other people, and our own personal stories define so much more about us than our physical circumstances do. We may not be able to change everything about our circumstances, but we do have an important ability to change our views. Figuring these things out has been quite a ride so far to say the least.

Looking forward to 2017, I want to focus more on putting these ideas to the test. I want to see more faces and situations instead of coffee shops and my bedroom. I’ll focus on doing more and showing my face in the world instead of working behind my little blog. Here’s to a new year!